Crazy Day...

Today was a VERY crazy day first starting off with a conversation that I had with co-worker, then I come home and my daughter was throwing up everyway so I had to handle that, and then lastly my uncle and his crazy wife go at it and now he's in jail. CRAZY, I tell you!!!
I really don't have much to blog about except that while I was dealing with Karis and her sickness my honey was there the whole time for me and was giving me words of encouragement, it was a great feeling. Its nothing like having a guy who is caring and who is there no matter what, and I am truly happy to have him in my life. Prayfully, this is the move that God wants me to make and I am truly enjoying this relationship that we have and I am thankful for him everyday. I just wish sometimes that I had a crystal ball just to see where my life will be and who I'll be with but of course I know that can't happen, because only God knows the order of my footsteps. This young man truly makes me happy and I feel SO comfortable around him, and then the way he deals with Karis is funny, but great at the same time. I can really say this is the one time in a while that I have dealt with someone that makes sense and wants to grow into more and share a life with me. I definitely still take this one day at a time and try to remain positive because I know how can I be at times. I am just going to enjoy the ride and enjoy him and where him and I end up who knows, but I am excited about the journey!!!

Til next time my followers this is my E! True Hollywood Story....
Signing off with much love,
T-Watt (Toni)

Seeing It Through My Eyes..

So last night I went out to Central Station in Eastpoint, and let me remind you I have not been out there for a year now. Well, as I was in Central Station it just didn't move me how it would of a year ago. I guess if people could see what I saw through my eyes then maybe people would have different perspective on what I’m feeling and how I was looking at people. Not that I am passing judgment on anyone so let me make that perfectly clear, but I think that where I am right now the Station isn’t the place for me anymore. I saw women walking around half dressed (let’s remember it was 20 degrees outside last night), guys sagging out of control, fights, and just a lack of representation of themselves. I guess in my mind I wonder if people ever take life seriously and grow up and work on being a better person. I can understand most get out on the weekend to rid themselves of the stress of the week, and I get like that too, but not to the point where I am losing myself and my morals, values, and ethics. I can look back over my life and be thankful, because the decision I’ve made may not have all been the best decisions, but they were learning decisions and I can truly embrace that. Guess the root of the problem for me is that as race we are SO LOST!!! We live by these rap songs and what we see on television versus just living for ourselves and making US happy, now we have to live for other people. I must admit there was a time in my life that people’s opinions of me made me want to change and live to make them happy and like me. As I got older and out of high school I really could careless what the next person said about me or what opinion they drew of me, because until ANYONE can get to know me then you don’t know me at all!!! I believe that’s why I can put high school ways behind me and keep moving forward, because people in high school didn’t know me and heck I didn’t even really know them because we ALL are different people, and grow into the person we are going to become as an adult. So until you truly get to know a person when asked by someone oh you know Toni, just respond by saying I know of Toni. Because honestly, there are not many people that really KNOW Toni or KNOW everyone they are cool with for that matter, you just merely know of that person.




I’m saying all this to say that it saddens me at times the way WE conduct ourselves as individuals and the way we chose to handle our situations. My grandmother use to say just mind your own and live long, and I really never took heed to what she was saying, but now as an adult (knocking on 30) I can really understand what she means by that, totally!!! People think I’m heartless, nonchalant, and that I don’t care etc but really all it is that I chose not to engage in the madness and I can not live my life contingent on what the next person thinks or says about me. I express to my readers to just focus on your position in life and live it the way that God planned for you to live it, and as hard as it can be don’t worry about the next person and their thoughts or views about you. Let’s just make better life decisions and look toward your future not just the present, because God willing you’ll have SO much living to do, so begin to Reposition Yourself!!!



Til next time…. This is my E! True Hollywood Story!!!



Many blessings guys and gals,

T-Watt (Toni)

The New Year!! 2010!!

Well, it's a new year and man 2009 brought along a lot of life lessons, pain, happiness, stress, and also finding my true self. I can not complain about this last year because it was definitely a year for learning and boy have I learned a lot. LOL!!! Since 2010, is here and I am only in the first day of 2010 it started off pretty well and I am excited to see what this year brings me. I didn't make any New Year Resolution's because that is not me and I truly believe people make these "false" promises to themselves and never end up doing what they say they are going to do, seems quiet pointless to me. I do know that I am going to continue to strive to be a better ME, be the best mother that I can be to Karis, finish up my Masters, continue to look to God for guidance and understanding because without it I know I'm lost, and lastly really give this relationship with Mike a REAL try, because he is truly a gift and I enjoy us.

So as I go into 2010 with an open mind and an open heart I pray that my life begins to get put back into focus and that I enjoy ME again, and embrace happiness because I deserve it!!! I always have to do the hardest thing EVER and that is reevaluate the people in my life (both male and female) and embrace the change that is coming over me. Some of the people who I think are my friends I believe they mean well, but they really aren't my friends for real and I can see the change in me and in them when it comes to our friendship(s) so with that I am open to my new friends and also to the old ones who have shown NOTHING but support and love for me. So let me wrap this up before I go off on another subject, LOL I may save that topic for another blog. LMBO!!! I wish nothing but the best (for those who are reading my blog) to everyone in 2010 and keep your focus and in 2010 just strive to be a better YOU!! Love you guys and gals... Til next time this is my E! True Hollywood Story!!! 

Oh yeah, I will definitely maintain my blog more by keeping you all updated!!!

Always love and peace,
T-Watt

Been Thinking....

I have been thinking a lot lately and I believe that it is time for me to consider dating again, and try to make something work that is going to make sense in my life. I never felt like I was the type of woman who "needed" a man because I truly enjoyed being single and living my life without having to answer to anyone. But now since Mike has come into my life I have given it a thought about being with someone and us growing together. Don't get me wrong I am not searching for ANYTHING, because Mike came along and I was not looking for him at all!!! I am growing daily and I know I have changed as a person, because I am not into the same things anymore and I want to settle myself down and begin to focus on a new and improved life, with everything in my being. Well, this was a short blog, but it has been a thought for the last couple of days and thought I would share it. Stay tuned and you'll see what happens next... Until next time this my E! True Hollywood Story.....

Christmas

This Christmas has truly been a blessed one and I love the holidays. Karis enjoyed herself she got clothes and a lot of learning toys. Next year I believe I want to do Christmas a little different and I want to be able to shop and even do a secert Santa with family. This year I think the time got away from me, but next I plan to enjoy my time around Christmas the way I like too!!!!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~T-Watt(Toni)

Reflecting...

It has really been a year and for everything in my life I am truly thankful. Sometimes I wonder what is going to be my next move because SO much has changed, but I continue to smile through it all!! No one knows my struggle nor do they understand my story. I believe sometimes people have my confused, when really I just don't think like the average person. I guess I just try to be the best person I can and I know some may not think so, but I have a huge HEART!!! The way I am is who I am and just sitting in Waffle House reflecting I am truly misunderstood and I think that is just who I am!!! I can't allow others to make me feel bad about being me, because I have and still am growing as a person. Wonder if people ever look at themselves before looking at others and their situations?? Just a thought.... Guess that is why I can mind my business and be there for people who truly need me!! Again as I said my life has changed and it is going to continue to change everyday, but all I can do is embrace the change and continue to love my situation. I guess it's called GROWING UP!!!!!

Til next time this is my E! True Hollywood Story....


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~T-Watt(Toni)

Relationship....

Today was a pretty good day nothing much really went on except me going to work and it was CRAZY busy!!! OMGoodness!!!! But anyway after work I was on the phone with my Mr. 305 and I promise you him and I talk like we are the best of friends and he such a nice and crazy guy. I am so SLOW that today he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and all I told him was I'll see because Christmas for me and my daugther is basically everyday, LOL!!! I am not caught up in ONE day really because if I want it I buy it, just that simple. Mr. 305 thinks about marriage and kids one day (he does not have any kids) and for just a split moment in my mind I thought about it. It's funny I don't let my mind travel that far with guys really, because for whatever reason I know the guys I have been dealing with make NO SENSE!!! SMH!!! I just find it crazy that I can one day (maybe) be someone's wife, funny....LOL!!!

I guess I better get myself together and try to focus on my future and my life and being a mom, and just continue to grow as a person. Really no one really knows me as well as I know myself I don't care what people say. I guess it the secretive side of me (us Leos) that allows me to keep things to myself (other than a select few I talk too). I am ready for 2010, because 2009 bought along a lot surprises and it was and still is an adjustment...

Well, til next time guys and gals.... Stay tuned to my E! True Hollywood Story!!! Peace and blessings...