God Makes No Mistakes....

God Makes No Mistakes....
What I live by....

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Thought...

I just had a birthday on Friday (July 23rd) and I must say it was one emotional rollercoaster. LOL!!! I'm better now and I'm trying to continue to be the best person that I can be and make decisions that don't hurt other people. I guess where I am in my life I feel myself changing and its scary, because in the mist of all the change I am trying to focus on my daughter, myself, and my career. There are decisions that I must make to continue to make a better life for myself and my daughter, and I know in a little while that change is going to come. This blog may seem SO random but its been on my heart and I have just been a little emotional these last few days about the direction of my life. I do know that in the end God has a plan and I am here to work that plan the best way I know how, and to walk in faith and not by sight.
Till next time.... Love yourself and be yourself!!! E! True Hollywood Story...


Sunday, May 16, 2010


It's been a long time since I last blogged but I figure since I'm waiting for Karis to fall sleep, why not blog.
So much has gone on in these last few months and I'm trying to make sense of it all, some good and some bad. I think that I have grown as a person and I'm getting better with not letting people get to me. I can't please everyone because it's not possible EVERYONE is going to have something to say about what it is YOU are doing in your life. I have no control over the journey in my life only God does, but all I can do is walk the path set forth for me and my life. I have no intrest with negative people in life because I have learned and seen for myself that can be toxic. I believe that all the things that are going on in my life and around me (good, bad, or indifferent) are happening for a reason and most of the situations I am learning something from it.
I guess that is all for now and I have to get better with this blogging!!!!! LOL!!!
Till next time This is my E! True Hollywood story......

Monday, February 15, 2010

State of Emergency...

This is something that I wrote a few years ago..... I am open for any comments so feel free to comment.....

State of Emergency

It just amazes me the things that we glorify now in the human race to the point that it saddens me. All the things that have gone on recently in the news everyone has their opinion on it and you are definitely entitled to that, but do you ever wonder why or think to yourself that things in the world are starting not to make any sense. Why is it that a law has to be passed for young men to pull their pants up and for women not to wear low waist jeans because it exposes their butt crack? Why is it that people do not own up to their faults and take whatever punishment(s) come their way? These are some of things that I sit and wonder about now a days and again it saddens me to know that we are glorifying bad behavior.

Our children have been exposed to a world of violence and crime and seems like all they can turn to is the radio and television. Now don’t get me wrong it’s nothing incorrect with children watching television but maybe it should be monitored a little closer and it’s the same thing with the radio. I use to hear people say well they are going to hear or see it sometime and that is true no need to shelter your children from reality, but ask yourself can your child read, write, do long division, multiply etc. but I bet they can SUPERMAN (that is a dance for those that don’t know) or they know the words to the latest rap/r&b songs out. Some of our children can’t even stand the sight of homework and they are 3rd graders, and some of them do just enough to get by, and I got this information from a dear and close friend who from time to time goes and volunteer’s her time at her daughter’s school. Man, I am just flabbergasted because in 3rd grade it’s alright for a child to want to do just the bare minimum to pass. Forget about trying to excel anymore and I often wonder if that word “EXCEL” is being used enough in society. Our children are a fundamental part of our society they are our futures and they need guidance and development to become better adults for the future and for me this is a state of emergency.

Our legal system is funny, because I would like to think that if I ever got myself into any kind of trouble I know my parents can afford the best legal defensive team out there today, but the only problem is I am just your average citizen, so for me the average citizen I wouldn’t get special treatment as those who have a “name” for themselves. For example Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, TIP, and Linsey Lohan (just to name a few) have all gotten themselves in situations that have changed the way society looks at them as individuals. And the media, parents, friends, family, and just normal people make excuses for their bad behavior. Again I go back to glorifying bad behavior because we get into situations sometimes those we can and can not control but at the same time we do have a choice. I think sometimes people forget to think before they act, and it’s important to understand that EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION!! And for those actions someone has to be held accountable. We have to stop feeling like just because someone has a name that “oh I feel bad for them” but at the end of the day what people don’t realize is that those individuals (whoever they maybe) they had a choice and whether it was good, bad, or indifferent it was still a choice they made and until people (society) can face the facts and stop making excuses for these celebrities (and even the common criminal) then I think we can limit the “glorifying” of bad behavior.

No, I don’t think I’m better than anyone else and no I don’t think I am a preacher, but I am a person who is living in this world and I see the bad behaviors that are being glorified, and it is heartbreaking because what does our future hold for us as a society? I named this piece a State of Emergency because that is JUST what it is an emergency! I want people to open their eyes to this bad behavior and try to being a change. One of TJ Jakes books which is titled Reposition Yourself, and as a society that is what we need to try and embrace a transformation so we can reposition our society, communities, children, finances whatever the change I just think that it is high time for people to get a little bit more serious about life and Reposition Themselves to start making sense out of life and stop glorifying bad behavior, because if not our country is in a world of trouble!


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hold True To What Matters

I'm a first time mom and when you have kids they don't come with instructions on how to raise them and how we're suppose to be as parents. I sometimes wonder why men get SO disconnected with their children?? You have some that are excellent fathers and some who aren't and some who women feel that they have to teach these young men to be fathers. I know for me I don't have the time or the patience to teach a man how to be a man!!! I pray that I that one comes my way that knows how to be a man, a father, a provider, a husband etc. In my opinion there are women out here who mess up the game when dealing with these men and these men tend to carry that on with them in their next relationship. Some of these women allow "fathers" to pop in and out of a child's life just because that is the father, and to me I think the child suffers with that kind of relationship and it's unhealthy!! Again I am NO expert I just think that as women we have to stick to our guns and hold true to what matters to us. I know what a MAN is and a FATHER, because I have a VERY good model to follow in my home, and he's my dad.
Times are changing and things aren't normal, but sometimes I try to be normal and definitely learn from things in my past. I slip up and I am not perfect I am HUMAN, but I know for my sanity I have to remain true to myself!!! Women I would like for you all to stay true to yourself and know your worth, and stop settling because you think you have too!!!! Work on yourself and stop allowing men to be the reason why you lose yourself and your worth!!!!!

Till next time.....E! True Hollywood Story by Toni

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~T-Watt(Toni)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Not Wasting Time...

I just wonder sometimes IF I will ever get to have true love and be with someone who makes me happy and loves Karis and I to death. I know and understand relationships are work and you have to work at them in order for them to flurish into something more. However, for me I have to do better at sticking with my standards and not settling for anything less, because I find myself wasting time and time is something that I don't have a lot of!!! I believe I have passed up on some REALLY good guys in the past, and I know this I just wish I my focus was different back then. Now in 2010 I can't cry over spilled milk so I have to keep going and know that my dream guy is still out there somewhere and we're going to come together and our drive for life, happiness, love, success ALL of that wonderful stuff is the same. My very close friend told me that you have to have a guy that shares your drive and is trying to move in the same direction as me. Definitely words to live by!!!!!

Till next time this is T~Watt and this is my E! True Hollywood Story!!!!

Love you all and goodnight!!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone~T-Watt(Toni)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Losing Myself...

The last few days have really been hard for me and I think it’s because I’m losing myself or as Fergie would say, “I’m losing my ground.” I think that I find myself lost in everyday life that I sometimes forget about myself. It’s so DEMANDING trying to work, be a mother, a friend, go to school, and also try to find time for myself that I am losing myself. I am sure someone would say to me that this is apart of life, and I can understand that but I don’t want it to be apart of my life. I do not want to live my life knowing that I am losing myself and causing myself stress and pain, because I don’t think that’s healthy. I find myself shedding a tear sometimes because I feel like I am trapped and I can’t get out!! I wonder if it’s because I’m a loner and tend to be by myself if that is why I feel like I’m losing my ground. People around me tend to say whatever comes to their minds and I just look and smile, because I truly believe that I have lost my energy for REALLY SNAPPING ON PEOPLE!!! I just really regret the day that someone crosses me and piss me off, because there are a lot of things inside me that can potentially come out on the wrong person. I have internal battles with myself and I know I am my own worse enemy, so I really do not need the help of others who tend to want to judge me and my situation. In the mist of my battles I am losing myself and I am trying to hold on with dear life, because I know in my heart it’s going to change!! Some may look at me and think that I am some kind of SUPERWOMAN and I guess in some ways that is what I am, but on the inside I am looking to really pack up my daughter and me and just leave, and go somewhere far away and just start over. Again, I truly think that I am losing myself in life and I have to get myself back together again and modify ME!! Guess as I always tell my Ace IT’S ALL IN DUE TIME!!!!

Till next time this is my E! True Hollywood Story... Sending peace, encouragement, and blessings your way!!

T-Watt (Toni)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Good Intentions...

I am not sure how much sense this blog is going to make but I must get it out of my head before I go crazy!!! LOL!!! Not really though...
I really think that if a person does not have good intentions for your life then I don't think that person (male/female) should be apart of your life. If someone is trying to better themselves why is it people want to think that you changed, because you want something more from life. I can not sit around and be "bored" because I have to many things that I am trying to do right now in my life to better myself and also to be able to provide a good life for my daughter. When trying to move in a direction that God has over your life if someone can not understand your movement then I think it is time to reevaluate your relationships with the people in your life. Sometimes people tend to want to keep the same people in their circle when that person or people is not really beneficial to you or your life. Trust me I know this is the hardest thing that someone has to do, because I think I am getting ready to do it myself but I know for my blessing to come I have to remove negative enegry and people who don't really have good intentions for me.
Goodness, this is going to be interesting how this plays out, but I guess I better do it now and I guess over time the hurt will pass and I'll be okay!! Hey, I've been alright all this time so for me I can wave good-bye and when we can move together as a unit then maybe things will make sense again, but for right now I have to move forward and continue to focus on the future I am making for myself and my daughter.

This is all for me tonight... Til next time this is my E! True Hollywood Story... Stay tuned....

T-Watt (Toni)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Crazy Day...

Today was a VERY crazy day first starting off with a conversation that I had with co-worker, then I come home and my daughter was throwing up everyway so I had to handle that, and then lastly my uncle and his crazy wife go at it and now he's in jail. CRAZY, I tell you!!!
I really don't have much to blog about except that while I was dealing with Karis and her sickness my honey was there the whole time for me and was giving me words of encouragement, it was a great feeling. Its nothing like having a guy who is caring and who is there no matter what, and I am truly happy to have him in my life. Prayfully, this is the move that God wants me to make and I am truly enjoying this relationship that we have and I am thankful for him everyday. I just wish sometimes that I had a crystal ball just to see where my life will be and who I'll be with but of course I know that can't happen, because only God knows the order of my footsteps. This young man truly makes me happy and I feel SO comfortable around him, and then the way he deals with Karis is funny, but great at the same time. I can really say this is the one time in a while that I have dealt with someone that makes sense and wants to grow into more and share a life with me. I definitely still take this one day at a time and try to remain positive because I know how can I be at times. I am just going to enjoy the ride and enjoy him and where him and I end up who knows, but I am excited about the journey!!!

Til next time my followers this is my E! True Hollywood Story....
Signing off with much love,
T-Watt (Toni)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Seeing It Through My Eyes..

So last night I went out to Central Station in Eastpoint, and let me remind you I have not been out there for a year now. Well, as I was in Central Station it just didn't move me how it would of a year ago. I guess if people could see what I saw through my eyes then maybe people would have different perspective on what I’m feeling and how I was looking at people. Not that I am passing judgment on anyone so let me make that perfectly clear, but I think that where I am right now the Station isn’t the place for me anymore. I saw women walking around half dressed (let’s remember it was 20 degrees outside last night), guys sagging out of control, fights, and just a lack of representation of themselves. I guess in my mind I wonder if people ever take life seriously and grow up and work on being a better person. I can understand most get out on the weekend to rid themselves of the stress of the week, and I get like that too, but not to the point where I am losing myself and my morals, values, and ethics. I can look back over my life and be thankful, because the decision I’ve made may not have all been the best decisions, but they were learning decisions and I can truly embrace that. Guess the root of the problem for me is that as race we are SO LOST!!! We live by these rap songs and what we see on television versus just living for ourselves and making US happy, now we have to live for other people. I must admit there was a time in my life that people’s opinions of me made me want to change and live to make them happy and like me. As I got older and out of high school I really could careless what the next person said about me or what opinion they drew of me, because until ANYONE can get to know me then you don’t know me at all!!! I believe that’s why I can put high school ways behind me and keep moving forward, because people in high school didn’t know me and heck I didn’t even really know them because we ALL are different people, and grow into the person we are going to become as an adult. So until you truly get to know a person when asked by someone oh you know Toni, just respond by saying I know of Toni. Because honestly, there are not many people that really KNOW Toni or KNOW everyone they are cool with for that matter, you just merely know of that person.

I’m saying all this to say that it saddens me at times the way WE conduct ourselves as individuals and the way we chose to handle our situations. My grandmother use to say just mind your own and live long, and I really never took heed to what she was saying, but now as an adult (knocking on 30) I can really understand what she means by that, totally!!! People think I’m heartless, nonchalant, and that I don’t care etc but really all it is that I chose not to engage in the madness and I can not live my life contingent on what the next person thinks or says about me. I express to my readers to just focus on your position in life and live it the way that God planned for you to live it, and as hard as it can be don’t worry about the next person and their thoughts or views about you. Let’s just make better life decisions and look toward your future not just the present, because God willing you’ll have SO much living to do, so begin to Reposition Yourself!!!

Til next time…. This is my E! True Hollywood Story!!!

Many blessings guys and gals,

T-Watt (Toni)

Friday, January 1, 2010

The New Year!! 2010!!

Well, it's a new year and man 2009 brought along a lot of life lessons, pain, happiness, stress, and also finding my true self. I can not complain about this last year because it was definitely a year for learning and boy have I learned a lot. LOL!!! Since 2010, is here and I am only in the first day of 2010 it started off pretty well and I am excited to see what this year brings me. I didn't make any New Year Resolution's because that is not me and I truly believe people make these "false" promises to themselves and never end up doing what they say they are going to do, seems quiet pointless to me. I do know that I am going to continue to strive to be a better ME, be the best mother that I can be to Karis, finish up my Masters, continue to look to God for guidance and understanding because without it I know I'm lost, and lastly really give this relationship with Mike a REAL try, because he is truly a gift and I enjoy us.

So as I go into 2010 with an open mind and an open heart I pray that my life begins to get put back into focus and that I enjoy ME again, and embrace happiness because I deserve it!!! I always have to do the hardest thing EVER and that is reevaluate the people in my life (both male and female) and embrace the change that is coming over me. Some of the people who I think are my friends I believe they mean well, but they really aren't my friends for real and I can see the change in me and in them when it comes to our friendship(s) so with that I am open to my new friends and also to the old ones who have shown NOTHING but support and love for me. So let me wrap this up before I go off on another subject, LOL I may save that topic for another blog. LMBO!!! I wish nothing but the best (for those who are reading my blog) to everyone in 2010 and keep your focus and in 2010 just strive to be a better YOU!! Love you guys and gals... Til next time this is my E! True Hollywood Story!!! 

Oh yeah, I will definitely maintain my blog more by keeping you all updated!!!

Always love and peace,